When I first arrived in Malaysia, I thought I was coming here to earn a degree.

Now I understand that I came here to build a life.

I still remember stepping out of the airport and feeling the humid air wrap around me. It was heavy, unfamiliar, yet strangely comforting. I kept looking out of the car window on the way to campus, thinking, “This is it. This is where my future begins.” That night, in my dorm room in Block D, I suddenly felt very small. For the first time, I truly understood what it means to be alone. The room was smaller than I imagined. I was sharing it with someone I had just met. There were no familiar walls, no parents in the next room, no childhood safety. Just me—and responsibility.

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My First Dorm Room in Block D

I filmed everything. I called my parents every day. I updated my grandparents. I told my friends every small detail. I wanted them to see my courage. What I did not know was that courage does not arrive loudly. It is built quietly—brick by brick.

The hardest night of my first year happened in the study room. Statistics felt impossible. My grades were lower than I expected. Homesickness was growing inside me like a quiet storm. That evening, I cried. Not loudly. Just quietly, because I did not want anyone to see me breaking. For the first time, I considered giving up. Going back to Kyrgyzstan would have been easier. Familiar. Safe.

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Late-Night Study Sessions During My First Year

But the next morning, I made a decision that shaped me. I chose to stay. No one forced me to study here. It was my choice. And if it was my choice, it was also my responsibility. That was the moment I stopped being just a student. That was the moment I became accountable for my own future.

Independence is not about being alone. It is about standing by your own decisions. I went back. I studied again. I asked for help without shame. I passed. That night did not break me. It strengthened me.

XMUM gave me more than business knowledge.

When we started choosing elective courses, I discovered how wide the world truly is. Film production, history, website development—each subject expanded the way I think. I realized education is not a straight line. It is a network of ideas. I came here for business. But I stayed for growth. Every semester changed me. I learned discipline. I learned time management. I learned how to balance studies, emotions, and long-distance relationships. I learned how to live respectfully in a shared space and communicate honestly. Brick by brick, I was building not just my degree, but my character.

One of the most unforgettable influences in my journey was a lecturer who trained us for Convocation. She did not teach my core subjects, yet she left a lasting mark. She taught us how to walk, how to carry ourselves, how to present confidence. From her, I learned presence. How you enter a room matters. How you speak matters. How you carry yourself matters.

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Convocation Training Session

Later, during a semester full of weekly presentations, I saw the transformation. My voice grew stronger. My ideas became clearer. I stopped shrinking myself. Recently, when I received the grades I had worked so hard for, I felt something deeper than happiness. I felt proof. Proof that every tear in the study room, every sleepless night, and every moment of doubt had meaning. Another brick.

The library became my quiet refuge. Whenever emotions felt overwhelming, I went there. The calm atmosphere, the greenery outside the windows, the silence filled with focused energy—it grounded me. Every morning, walking through campus, I feel gratitude. Not because everything is easy. But because this place allowed me to grow through what was difficult.

As XMUM celebrates its 10th anniversary, I see a reflection. While the university was building its identity as a young international campus, I was building my identity as an independent woman. We were both growing. We were both learning. We were both in our formative years. And maybe that is why this connection feels so personal.

The first night in Block D, I felt small inside that room. Today, when I walk across campus, I do not feel small anymore.

I feel capable.
I feel responsible.
I feel ready.

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Sunset at XMUM Campus

And in that realization, I understood that I was no longer the girl who arrived here unsure of herself. Years from now, I will return to this campus. I will walk these same paths and remember the girl who almost gave up—and the woman who chose to stay. And I will remember the lesson XMUM taught me:

“Adulthood does not begin when you leave home. It begins when you decide to stay, to endure, and to build your future—even when leaving would be easier.”

XMUM did not just educate me. It shaped me. Brick by brick, it helped me become who I am. And for that, I am proud to be part of its first decade.

Happy 10th Anniversary to Xiamen University Malaysia.

By Esinalieva Aizhamal
2025/02 
International Business